September can be a scary time especially if you’re just starting university! I’m about to go into my third year at uni and, honestly, sometimes it feels just as scary as freshers! I am pretty shy and generally a worrier so uni can be SO daunting and overwhelming but if I survived it, then I believe you can too. I’ve focused on social stuff in this post and probably a little bit towards freshers, but I think the advice is helpful starting any year of university. It’s different for everyone and that is definitely one of the key things to keep in mind. If you’re a little shy or worried then hopefully you can learn something from this little ‘guide’ and it should put your mind at ease. I’m basically just going to chat and put some pointers in bold, I didn’t really want to do this in a classic ‘list’ because there are honestly no set ‘rules’ that work for this- everyone is different.
One of the best things I did at the start of university was making my room a little safe haven. Honestly, I took the time to make sure my room felt safe and pretty, it helped SO much throughout the beginning especially. I took throws, cushions and fairy lights which all helped me settle in. Some people fail to do this and it makes it look very much like a cheap hotel or prison cell tbh, I find it much more comfortable being around a cosy environment. Having this from the beginning, not only gave me something to do during Freshers, but it meant that after lectures or days out going back to my room wasn’t daunting. Try and make it as homely as possible, maybe opting for a sweet room diffuser and photos of home- for when you’re feeling a bit down. It just felt like my little bit of home and I really loved my bedroom during first year, it was comforting and made the entire experience a little less scary.
Next up, remember: you, do you. What I mean by this is don’t feel pressure to go out every night. Don’t even feel pressure to go out for even one night if you don’t want to. You’ll find your people, even if it isn’t necessarily in the first week. Have movie or games nights with your flat, then if they want to go out that’s completely fine. There are SOOO many more things to university than going out every night, so don’t let all that get you down. Everyone has SO much advice for you at university and, if you’re a shy girl, it will be OVERWHELMING. Everyone says you’ll make your friends for life, you’ll find your husband and, one of the weirdest I was told, ‘if you go home in the first three weeks you will end up dropping out’. Seriously, people said that to me. GIRL, let me tell you I went home the Wednesday of Freshers week (against this ‘so called’ research) and now I’m about to start third year. I really wouldn’t listen to people who tell you this complete rubbish, you do what you want to make yourself happy. If I learnt anything as a shy girl at university is that you just have to put your happiness first– so if going home makes you happy, do it, you will still make it.
One thing about being shy at university is that you are constantly tested but that means you are constantly achieving. Remember to celebrate yourself and all the little things you do at university that are a success. Finding that lecture theatre, talking to the girl next to you for the first time, making dinner with someone in your flat or trying a society taster session. You can push yourself as much as you want at uni, it’s all down to you. You’ve got to find a balance for your own sanity- you can’t be pushing yourself constantly because you will drain yourself mentally but you can’t shut yourself in your room for the year either. What I use to do was say one night I would go and do something scary, like I went to a society taster session. Then the next night if I wanted to snuggle up and watch PLL, that was fine. Does that make sense? It was about striving to come out of my shell but without forcing myself to do stuff I didn’t want to do all the time.
Finally, just remember EVERYONE feels the same at some point or another. Some people simply hide it better than others. I remember thinking that everyone back home from school was having the time of their lives and had forgotten me. I thought that everyone else in my flat was living the dream. But, they weren’t. Once I realised this, I felt less alone. This is where The Art of Editing thing comes into play, what people post on social media is not an accurate representation of their entire experience. Hopefully knowing this will make you feel less isolated and you can take comfort in the fact that, like High School Musical taught us, we really are all in this together.
I really hope that this little ramble has helped you or simply given you some comfort. Whether you’re a fresher or you start your post-grad course next week, I just hope that you remember what you’re feeling is completely understandable. Being shy simply makes all your achievements even greater. You’ll be great. Remember, there is no shame in being shy, homesick or feeling disconnected- you will get there in the end.
If all else fails just remember Christmas will be here soon- let the countdown commence.
Amy
Always Amy 